10). The tufted titmice start flashing you. — Nate

9). You cant see any birds, but bird watchers are out like flies, binoculars permently attached to their faces. — Todd Roy and Sean

8). All the little Marlboros hanging from the beaks. — Sara

7). The dove has been loved, the lark has been sparked, the duck has been . . . there's been a mistake, the duck is a drake! — hiker bob

6). You notice bird seed in your Viagra bottle. — Malcolm

5). Beware of crows carrying tree branches. — Anita

4). There is an unusually high number of adolescent boys aspiring to be ornithologists. — Phipps

3). The curtains on the birdhouse are drawn. — Randy J

2). The normal sounds of birds in the trees has been replaced by 1970's X-rated film sound track. — Dave Morse

1). Peep, peep, peep . . . — Tracker